NEW YORK -- I've entered a new world. The Hi-Def Universe.

For three straight days I've viewed the TV watching experience like a kid seeing his very first idiot box.



Jaw sometimes dropped, eyes opened widely, I've sat on my couch like a hi-def potato. I've adjusted bass and treble, saturation and hue, captions ON and captions OFF, font styles and even font opacity.

Like a five-year old child tugging at his mother's skirt so he could show his latest finger-painted masterpiece, I grabbed the attention of anyone I could lure into my living room to show off my new toy. "Look at this TV compared to the other," I'd say - as my 36" standard screen was et to the same channel as the 40" widescreen Hi-Def, just two feet away.

Most impressive in comparison: the amount of extra room - be it on a football field or a tennis court's outer boundaries. The outlines of the curves on the human body as well as the skin tones. The overall sharpness in picture and truer colors. Also, I've noticed that golf courses in Hi-Def make it easier to distinguish between the varying lengths of grass.

Currently, there are two TVs in my living room. On NFL Sundays there will be three. Friends will gather as we get gluttonous, tasting our technologies. I'll fire up my Fire Magic gas grill, and the season will be underway. We've have laptops open to check fantasy stats. Even if my favorite team, the Vikings seems destined for a season of mediocrity, at best, I reckon that this will be my favorite NFL season in many years.

Oh, one more thing on the Hi-Def - the coolest feature of all (unless this is the work of my temperamental, aging audio receiver) - I've been able to simulate the closest "being there" experience, minus the smells and environmental effects. Perhaps it is the "karaoke" feature on my non-Hi-Def audio receiver. Either way, I am able to turn off the volume on the announcers and listen solely to the 'nat' sounds - which, in tennis translates to grunting, balls getting whacked, etc. With baseball, it's primarily crowd noise, the voice of Bob Sheppard (or other P.A. announcer), cracks of bats and balls caught in gloves. These sounds make wonderful background noise, too. It is the most unobtrusive way that one can watch sports - with details provided by graphics and closed captioning, instead of human voices.

So, c'mon over for NFL Sundays, and I'll plug my microphone into the audio receiver, turn on the karaoke feature and broadcast the games - all without the expressed, written consent of any corporation or team.

I've had Hi-Def for only three days. It's DirecTV. Maybe you can offer some tips for me? Or, maybe you'd like to share some of your own Hi-Def stories. We'll learn from each other.